Failure
I’m a failure.
I can’t do this scientific paper. I just can’t.
Even if I decided I could do it, I’m running out of time. I’m way behind.
I’m thinking I should drop the class. It would save me a lot of trouble.
I would lose lots of $$$$ though and the 5 credits. It would probably fuck up my financial aid.
I would really miss the class though.
I can’t do the paper.
I can’t.
I can’t.
I can’t.
major frustration
I’m so frustrated, angry and pissed off right now.
I can’t do this scientific paper, I just don’t know how.
I hate it.
I hate not knowing what I’m doing. I can’t handle it. I hate writing. I hate this assignment. I hate that this is part of being a scientist. I hate that I hate this.
I hate.
Dream crushing
I just visited the OHSU website and my dream of working at OHSU has been crushedx20000000000000. All of the doctors that are clinical nutritionists have a M.D. (Doctor of Medicine) degree. Yeah there’s noooo way I would be able to get that. Sighs. I love the confidence I have in myself.
*cries*
Maybe I can work at Kaiser or something? (I’m not dissing on Kaiser, but ya know OHSU pwns Kaiser.)
HOT DAMN! I can make as low as $21.00 an hour or as high as $32.00!!!!
If I was REALLY desperate I could work for the army which as I read job postings seems more and more like a reality since they all want 1 YEAR of EXPERIENCE. Now I’m confused, so does the internship count as experience?
I need the reassurance that this is what I want to do.
I need a mentor!
Freedom for All
Lol at the random title!
Well most people would have trouble making the connection. So I’ve decided Liberty isn’t that bad. She’s a little ditzy at times, but I eventually got past that. Mostly because of the cupcakes. Who doesn’t like cupcakes? It made me happy. 
At least for a little bit….
Backlogging this btw.
a nice surprise
So I just realized that I have room summer 2010 for an extra class. I’m kinda excited. I could take piano and a PE class. I could take ASL. Oh my gosh the possibilities. It really is exciting!
decisions about decisions about decisions about decisions
I can’t spell today, it’s terrible.
So I can’t decide about this whole dietitian thing. I love biology and I don’t think becoming a dietitian expresses my love for biology. The day to day of being a dietitian may use biological concepts, but it doesn’t use biology directly, I mean not in the way I want it to. I think my decision truly hangs on whether or not I like chemistry. If I like chemistry I’ll probably stick with becoming a dietitian, if I don’t I’ll explore other possibilities. The problem is I want to look at those possiblities now! I want to see what else there is. I’m sure there’s something else out there that’s even better.
I think the ability to look at a bone and know what the cause of death was and whether it happened before or after death is amazing and awesome. (Sorry run on!) I want that ability. I think it would be so cool! I wouldn’t mind doing something like Temperance Brennan on Bones. I don’t feel smart enough to become a doctor or to get a phd in any subject. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wishing I was doing something else. I don’t know I just feel so unsure.
I’m going to start exploring.
Police bus!
Do ask.
Do you want to know what’s exciting? I walked 3 miles today.Yeah, 3 miles in the rain. I know, I’m awesome like that.
D o you want to know what’s really funny? Beef Bend Road. I don’t know what the history behind the name is, but it cracks me up every time I think about it. Haha, bendy beef!
I went to a study group today, with Sandy and Natalia, at Natalia’s house in Tigard. It was great, it made me feel smart and made it easier to understand concepts I wouldn’t have. Discussing things with people makes you think of things you wouldn’t have before and I love it. If I hadn’t gone to the study group, I wouldn’t have accomplished as much as I did. Btw Natalia has like the fattest cat ever holy crap.
Lady on the Bus was kinda being weird yesterday, I don’t know how to describe it. I guess using the word weird would be me describing it. Lol duh!
Saturday night, I went bowling with some of my friends at Hollywood bowl for the HRC. It was great. I suck at bowling. I had an average of 80. On the way back to friend 1’s house friend 2 saw a fire truck with blue and red flashing lights down the street and she asked “Is that a police truck?” Hahah it was hilarious. Once we got to friend 1’s house friend 2 left and went home. I stayed the night at friend 1’s house. The next day we went to Hawthorne and looked at clothes. Lol Dollar Scholar! (Don’t ask)
So Friday, I had a test in biology. During the test my teacher’s cell phone went off and all I heard was the beginning of a song. Throughout the test it bothered me because I knew the song and some of the lyrics. When I got home I looked it up and it was Decode by Paramore. I was like omg she’s such a Twilight fan/teenager. I thought it was really funny. I often wish I could get to know my teachers because I’m sure it would be fascinating and entertaining. I’m really looking forward to lecture this Friday because the last lecture we had was hilarious. Btw I got thirteen out of fifty-five wrong on the test, she let us look at the key afterwards.
Goodnight random awesome strange people of the internet!
>.<
My computer mouse is still broken. rAWRS. Angry face x20.
Angry face x20000000000 at the academic adviser I saw today. I practically had to pull his teeth out to get any answers out of him. and AND he didn’t ask or probably even think about the foreign language requirement. angry face. I think it will be okay though, I hope it will be okay. I guess OSU has exceptions.
Speaking of angry faces….angry face x9999999999999999999999 at myself for choosing such a hard major. chemistry and biology together for 5 quarters. rAWRS.
I need a mentor that’s a dietitian so they can give me advice and all that stuff…
Omg and Liberty. Ugggh fucking Liberty. She’s such an annoying little ditzy dumb just ugggh. I hope that whole phD thing works out for her because she could use some help.
So I saw woman from the bus twice today. ……I know weird right? It was a creepy, strange, creepy coincidence. I felt like a stalker, even though it was a coincidence. I stilllllllllll do not know her name. rAWR
okay I’m done. rAWR
hehehe
Don’t tell me what to say
It has really been bothering me that she assumed that I finished high school early by receiving my GED. I want to tell her “I have my diploma! I graduated early because I took 3 college classes and did a community service project one summer. My school was a joke. So much of a joke that I was valedictorian and I graduated with honors. I don’t think I even got through algebra and I definitely didn’t fulfill the foreign language requirement.” I just keep having that imaginary conversation through my head because it’s bothering me so much.
My stupid computer mouse is still broken. urgh >.<
