Irememberme's Blog

This is officially a Bitch Blog

irememberme — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 22:28:16 +0000

Hot damn! It has been a long time since I last wrote in this blog.

I’m in San Jose right now, in a Starbucks.

Nothing has been looking up lately. I haven’t found a job, I learned I owe $1200 in healthcare related bills, I have $20,000 in student loans, the place I really wanted to live in in downtown Oakland fell through, and I only have $1200 in my bank account with absolutely no source of income.

I’m beginning to think I should cut my losses, and go back home, to my Mom’s place in Kelso and maybe join the military. I don’t think it would be completely horrible. If I join the Air Force maybe I can be with Lakisha. Even with the negative aspects to the military, it’s still a steady income with health benefits, food, housing, GI benefits and so on. I mean my dumbass brother (who I love) joined the Army and survived though he is getting discharged early. If i joined, Alyse would hate me for a very long time. We can’t even talk about Lakisha without Alyse’s hate for the military and the fact that Lakisha joined coming up. Something which I don’t think Alyse is going to forget until Lakisha comes home safe and sound, the same person she was when she left.

Speaking of Alyse, she is DRIVING ME INSANE! Everything is all about her all the time. It gets so old. I love her and care for her, but shit I feel like I don’t matter. Her reassurances about the future aren’t working, I kinda just want her to STFU. I know she works a lot and that GP is her whole like, but that’s all the she talks about and I’m so sick of hearing about it. [I just got my caramel frappucino everywhere because I slammed it on the table too hard] I’m sick of her leaving her shit everywhere and making a mess of things and not cleaning them up. I’m sick of her playing music loudly and talking on the phone late at night. I’m sick of dealing with her dog. I’m sick of the fact that she can’t deal with being a poor college student, almost every college student deals with it and she can too. I’m sick of her bitching about her problems and not actually doing something about them. I’m jealous of the fact her family can provide both emotional and financial support for her. I’m jealous that she’s not in debt. I’m jealous that she knows what she wants to do in school and with her life. I’m jealous that she has a job, a job that she loves. I’m jealous that she has the work experience to get a good job fairly easily. I’m jealous that she will always have a better life than me.

Glad to have that out of my system. Now I should go apply for jobs [Why are applications so much work??] and figure out what I’m going to do about my financial problems.

<3

irememberme — Tue, 25 May 2010 19:41:27 +0000

Modest Mouse-Whenever You Breathe Out I Breathe In (A.K.A Positive/Negative)

Hey, haven’t seen you around in a while

I didn’t go to work for a month
I didn’t leave my bed for eight days straight
I haven’t hung out with anyone
‘Cause if I did, I’d have nothing to say
I didn’t feel angry or depressed
I didn’t feel anything at all
I didn’t want to go to bed
And I didn’t want to stay up late

When you’re living your life, well, that’s the price you pay
Whenever I breathe out, you’re breathing it in
Whenever I breathe out, you take it in again
I’m feeling this positive/negative, positive/negative

I didn’t go to work for a month
I didn’t leave my bed for eight days straight
I haven’t hung out with anyone
‘Cause if I did, I’d have nothing to say

Why I hate being skinny

irememberme — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 07:15:10 +0000

I weigh 100 pounds. Many woman waste their lives dieting trying to get to what they consider to be their ideal weight, for some it might (sadly) be 100 pounds (and depending on how tall you are that is not a healthy weight.) Really it shouldn’t be considered a healthy weight for the majority of Americans, but there’s the obesity epidemic right now so that’s not really an issue. I hate being so skinny. If I wanted to I could probably count all 24 of my ribs. Really sexy. Also, I don’t have a butt, it’s pretty much nonexistent. Even worse I have small breasts and in this cleavage obsessed culture they’re not the most attractive. (Seriously look at how successful Victoria’s Secret is. People love cleavage.) Women have asked me what my “secret” is to being so skinny. I tell them that I’m a vegetarian and I don’t drink milk, but that’s not exactly the truth. (Even though I did lose 10 pounds after I became a vegetarian.) My secret is that I’m young and have a fast metabolism (which has it’s drawbacks. I’m hungry all the time!) I’ve told some women this and a look of triumph briefly crosses their faces and they say in a somewhat gleeful tone something like this: “You know one day you’ll just end up fat like your mom.” Oh wait woops that’s what my grandma says. They something more like: “Ah that won’t last forever.” blah blah blah. No shit sherlock. Your metabolism slows down in your late 20s/ early 30s. Geesh I may be stupid, but I’m not that stupid.

I’d like to send a message to all you people out there:

Just because I’m skinnier than most does NOT mean I’m anorexic. Stop asking me if I’m taking laxatives, going to go throw up my meal when I’m finished or if I want a sandwich (well depending on the sandwich I might take you up on that offer. )

Also just because I’m skinny it does NOT give your the right to make fun of me. It hurts me as much as it might hurt an overweight person.

One more thing. Just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean I’m healthy. I eat junk food all the time. especially lately. Also I never exercise. (Well I’m in a yoga class now, but that doesn’t really count for much, it hasn’t affected my weight.) I am the laziest person ever.

I’m done with this now…uh I’m not sure where it was going, but it wasn’t the direction I was thinking of. Oh well . Also it didn’t make me feel better like I thought it would. *sigh* I’m going to go back to watching the Office. ♥

Break time!

irememberme — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 22:43:07 +0000

It’s spring break now and I’m loving it. I definitely needed a break from school.

Grades were due yesterday. For some reason, I’ve only gotten my study skills and math grade. In study skills I (surprisingly!) got an ‘A’, and in math (no surprise) I got a ‘NP’ (no pass.) Now, I’m waiting for my ASL grade and I’m kind of concerned as to why I haven’t gotten it yet. I’ve decided that if I don’t have it by tomorrow I’m going to email Curtis and see if he has received his grade. I really want to know what I got because it will make me feel a bit better about the next class. Also I’ve decided I’m not going to buy some extra ASl books until I’ve received my grade.The reason why I’m so concerned about it is because while I was filming the ‘My Family’ video you couldn’t really see my signs because my hands blended in with my chest.

*sigh* I just checked the grades again and it’s not up. I hope KB is okay. Maybe she’s just busy with work.

I’ve been on break for almost a week now. So far, I’ve had tea with my grandma and mom, had dinner with Alyse and Lakisha and seen Alice in Wonderland in 3D with Ariel and her friends. All of it has been fairly entertaining. I was a bit disappointed in the 3D effects in Alice in Wonderland.

I got a Netflix account and I’m really enjoying it. So far I’ve gotten Children of a Lesser God in the mail and watched about 10 movies on the instant play. Also, I’ve been letting Jordan use my account so she can enjoy the instant movies too. For some reason, she started a movie today and didn’t finish it. I’m guessing it wasn’t what she expected it to be. I’m watching Julie and Julia, it’s alright, not my favorite though. I think my favorite so far has been the British movie, Lost in Austen. I loved that movie!

I don’t think I’ve mentioned my name on here, but my last visitor to my blog has made me wonder if I have. I’ll have to go back and check.

Anyways I’m going to go back to watching Julie and Julia.

I Like to Ride my Bicycle, I Like to Ride My Bike

irememberme — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:23:18 +0000

Riding my bike yesterday was much better because due to two things:

1. My butt didn’t hurt when I sat down

2. It was sunny out

Those two things made it an awesome ride.

Another thing that would make any ride on my bike better either I shrink back to the height I was 10 years ago or the bike becomes bigger because right now it’s not the most comfortable ride.

But..uh yeah I just wanted to say all of that….

For realz biatches

irememberme — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 08:12:39 +0000

I’m listening to Disturbed right now. I’m enjoying them way more than I ever thought I would. I need to find more songs by them to put on my ipod, right now I only have six.

I only seem to feel like blogging when things are shit.

Things are shit right now.

I’m seriously slacking as a student this quarter. I’m failing my math class (which I’m really not that surprised about.) What I am surprised about is the fact that I got a ‘D’ on my ASL midterm. I motherfucking blame it on that stupid chick I was partnered with, X. One of the worst signers in the class. Serious FML moment. My teacher, KB did reassure me. (The look on my face when I ‘talked’ with her must have been the saddest look EVER.) *treasures paper for very long time* lolz wut?

My goddamn motherfucking study skills class is pissing me off. I signed up for it thinking it wasn’t going to be that complicated, that there wasn’t going to be that much work involved. It has been the biggest pain in the ass ever! There’s an assignment due every day that there’s class. It’s ridiculous. I mean the assignments are working, I’m actually reading the chapters and learning something, but I never expected there to be so much work! Fuck! Shit! (I’m seriously enjoying swearing tonight, can you tell?)

UGH.

I mean of course things in my life could be MUCH worse, but I enjoy instilling drama in my personal life so I’m making things dramatic.

Even though my grade in ASL does factor into my future.

I signed up for classes today. I signed up for ASL 151, Math 111c (the one I’m taking this quarter), Ballroom Dancing (I know funny right?!) and Yoga 1 (the same class I took Fall 2008.) I’m either eventually going to choose between dancing and yoga. All together that equals 13 credits. I can’t say I’m exactly thrilled about any of the classes. I’m excited to learn more ASL and to get into syntax, but I’m scared of how hard it’s going to be. Especially since I got my midterm grade, I’ve really been doubting myself.

I love youtube. I love all of the users I’m subscribed to, it brings me such entertainment.

I really should go work on study skills homework, I have a shitload to do this weekend.

Omgoodness I just remembered something else I wanted to talk about. Last Friday night, I went and saw a movie with Curtis from my ASL class. He rented a zipcar and we drove to Vancouver to a highschool near WSU. The movie was called ‘Gerald’ and from what I understood (which really wasn’t much) the movie was about a Deaf man who takes in his autistic Deaf uncle that he just found about. The Deaf man’s fiance doesn’t like the uncle so she leaves. One day, the fiance’s parents come over and the father somehow knows the uncle. Curtis and I thought maybe the fiance was actually the Deaf man’s cousin or sister, but were weren’t sure. A group of us might go see the movie again in Salem next month. Hopefully I’ll understand more then. Sadly while we were there we didn’t get to ‘talk’ with anybody, but it was fun and amazing to watch so many people signing with each other before the movie. (<–sentence fail)

okay I’m done for now.

BTW I have absolutely no logical explanation for the title. ;D

Dissapointing

irememberme — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 07:32:39 +0000

I am disappointed.

I am disappointed in myself.

I got a ‘C’ in chemistry.

I am so disappointed in myself you would think I had failed the class.

I think I’m more disappointed in myself about my chemistry grade than I was when I got a ‘D’ in math over the Summer.

A big part of me feels like I failed. I think it’s because this grade will decide my future. This grade will affect the medical laboratory technician program heads decision on whether or not to accept me into their program. My math grade not so much, or the grade I received in the human biology class I took at LCC.

Anyways. Right now I’m making a list of the reasons why I want to be in the program because the application why I’m applying for the program.

Maybe I’ll post it here later?

YES I’M RIDICULOUS

irememberme — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:11:02 +0000

WHERE IS MY CHEMISTRY GRADE?!! D. SAID THEY WOULD BE UP TODAY BECAUSE GRADES WERE DUE TODAY AT 5 P.M. WHERE IS IT?!!!

I WANT IT NOW!

ALSDKFJOSDIFJ;DSLFN;FLNSA!

*freaks out*

>.<

In other news, I got a B in math and an A in piano.

Chemistry will be the end of me

irememberme — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:05:46 +0000

Seriously. I got my test back yesterday and I got a D! 65%! Fuck! The first test I got a low C! I’m so screwed! If I get a C or lower I for sure won’t get into the MLT program and then I’ll be put behind a year or just not even know what to do with myself. If I don’t get into the MLT program, I don’t know what I’m going to do, I have no back up plan. I’m kind of tired of school, I’m glad I get an almost month long break after finals next week.

OMFG FINALS!

I’m so scared for finals.

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I can do this though.

I need to do this.

Okay back to homework.

Fugly

irememberme — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:01:32 +0000

Today, I deleted a bunch of pictures off of my computer because my computer has been acting finicky. While going through them I realized something. I’m fucking ugly. My lips are ugly. My nose is ugly. My skin is ugly. My eyebrows are ugly. My hair is REALLY ugly. Over the years why hasn’t anyone told me how bad my hair looks????? It looks terrible! Even now! My bangs are very ugly. They really need to be professionaly cut because cutting them straight across is not in. They have no depth (I can’t believe I just said that about hair.) They are really ugly. Just terrible.

Aren’t I a ball of fucking sunshine today?

On a better note. I got a new sweater today. It’s a black cardigan sweater. It’s very soft because it has cashmere and silk in it. I really like it. With the sweater I also got some free lip gloss. Alyse was right, it does make you look like a straight girl ho. I still kinda like them though. One of them is cupcake flavored and it smells so good! d:

I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed. Except I started reading Narnia this weekend. I’m about to start the Horse and His Boy. I’ve already finished The Magician’s Nephew and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Also, I watched the Lion King this weekend, it was awesome. I missed it. I’ve decided I love lions, they’re my new favorite animal.

Sleep!